it just struck me today: alot of people dont like me. well not exactly that. like is a strong word. indifferent. a lot of people are just indifferent to my existence. if anything good or bad were to happen to me it wont affect anyone save maybe three people. i used to live in this bubble of pretense. i am important. i am charming. whatever i say or do is worth something, it’s news. but it feels like a curtain has been lifted and the other side has been revealed: the ugly reality that i am not as important as i thought. if i were to dissappear maybe a few people would notice but won’t bother to check the reason for my absence. Then a couple days will pass and all will be forgotten. surhan who? no answer. no one knows. to be struck off the records of life, to become a faint distant memory, blurry and unsure. Did i wish this upon myself? Some time ago i wanted this to happen. I wanted everyone to forget me, but now that i see it slowly manifesting, i hate it.

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