Airplanes and Moving on

I dont dream often about airplanes, but when i do, its always painful. Not in the literal sense, its just poignant or plain hurtful to the heart for some reason. Its never a happy dream. Another dream i have had too many times is about moving. Moving on or moving away or moving out, that i have yet to figure out. But one thing I’m sure of, its about moving from a home, my home, either one.

 

Yesterday I dreamt about boarding a plane to the new home again. I never board it per se, I just appear in the seats. Always on the aisle side. Never close to the window. I wasnt alone, all the extended family of mum’s side was on it too, i dont know which one or how many, but their presence was felt. We have to cross a sea, or a river, some body of water that is big enough to produce violent waves and dark clouds sans rain. We have to cross it and its night time. The clouds are heavy but there is no thunder or downpour. I sit in my seat, my fists clenching the armrest as my gut squeezes upon itself, giving me a nauseous feeling. I silently pray and shut my eyes close, i pray we make it out alive. We’re halfway through when suddenly a giant wave makes way for the plane. Its inching closer, threatening to engulf the plane in one go. I think of how awful a death in an ocean would be, how awful dying wet would be. The wave comes for us, and hits the base of the plane, rocking it a bit and leaving our feet wet, but we make it out of it. The plane stumbles but gets back on its tracks moments later. I let out a long held breath. We cross the other half smoothly.

 

When we reach our destination, i realize there is no destination. We made it out here, such a long troublesome journey and it went to no use. We reach a hotel that panders only to the rich. We get our cutlery from a cupboard but its made of plastic, my cousins and i stifle a laugh but eat in it nonetheless. The food is bland. This is not the ending i was hoping for. I fled home but i cant find a destination. But i made it through the storm, a bumpy ride but cathartic nonetheless. I think i’ve cleared the first step. Now i just need to figure out the end.

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